Seriously. It will all be OK.

Sometimes, life can be overwhelming. Suddenly, it seems that work, relationships, and an identity crisis are all happening at once, and you are caught in this never-ending cycle of feeling tired and frustrated, without a way to get out. Some of this is a normal part of the up and downs of life, but other times, you may need some additional support to help you pull through.

When your head feels foggy and you don’t know what to, just Take a deep breath, and do the Next Best Thing, one step at a time. Rather than thinking far ahead about what your perfect life looks like when all of your problems are “solved,” list out your goals, pick one, and then create a baby-steps plan to achieve just that specific one.

Sounds easy? Simple? Intuitive? Sure, maybe, but it’s easier said than done.

It’s so tempting to want to do everything and have it all be perfect! But that mindset can keep you from taking one more step to achieving your goal. A typical example is healthy eating: there’s no need to flush out your diet of all savory foods, but change your habits in baby steps, eat more vegetables one day, less saturated fat the next. If you accidentally overeat dessert, don’t beat yourself ! I know, you’re thinking, “Easier said than done!” And you’re write. But think about it, if you become self-critical, you will only feel worse yourself, which actually lowers your motivation to make positive changes to take care of yourself.

At any given time during the day, you can press the Pause and Restart button to start fresh. Even if you wake up carrying the regrets of yesterday, Pause, and make the DECISION to let go of the past, and focus on the present. No need to project into the future either! As long as you keep doing the next best thing, your future will automatically line up.

ALSO – remember that you don’t actually HAVE to do anything you don’t want to! Meaning that if you feel frustrated, and you think that you SHOULD be “good” or “do better,” maybe in the moment, you just do not have the motivation or energy to push yourself. And that’s OK too! Again, we are not perfect. But recognize your resistance, and file it away in the back of your mind to come back later. Journaling helps immensely. When you’re ready, reflect back on the event, and then set a plan for how to make change easier the next time. So back to the food example, sometimes you just REALLY crave that sweet, salty, savory… Yummy foods, and it happens that you had a stressful day at work or an argument with your partner. And you are self aware enough to know that this is related to emotional eating, but you just don’t care. It’s OK to give in once in a while, but don’t let this spiral out of control and become an excuse. However, some days, you just want a break from this whole healthy situation.

When you are struggling with something, or have a goal to achieve, share that with your social support network. Accountability is another key factor. Most of all, learn to forgive yourself. Remember that the only way forward is one step at a time.

Your assignment? Write down a list of things that are on your mind that you want to change, group them by category and/or priority, and then choose one or two items that you can easily achieve. Once you get some small wins, you build a momentum to tackle the rest.

Get started! I know you can do this!