Have Faith, not Fear

Do you remember when you finally made the decision to take the leap of faith? Whether it’s leaving your position which has long become monotonous and stagnant, or ending that 20-year long relationship which has finally hit a breaking point, the decision took immense mental and emotional courage and energy.

Let’s break this down. First comes awareness that something is not as it should be. It could be the moment you realize how you lack motivation and have lost interests in your hobbies after work, because you feel so burnt out. This feeling may linger for a long time before you can explicitly verbalize this feeling.

Fear is normal, and especially when you’re taking such a big risk, of course you are scared! But remind yourself of why you made this choice. In the midst of self doubt and uncertainty, one thing you know for sure if that your current state of being is no longer sustainable because you can no longer accept this chronic state of dissatisfaction and mediocrity. No more excuses.

So address the elephant in the room: What are you afraid of? Some of the most common ones are a fear of…

1. Unknown
2. Uncertainty
3. Failure
4. Disappointment
5. Judgment

In the moment when you feel that pit in your stomach, a tightness in your chest, your heart beating faster, let’s first calm down in this present moment and try to:

1. Simply acknowledge your experience. Do not try to push it away, fight it, or avoid. Have an attitude of, “Huh, there it is again. Fear, here you are.”
2. And then, take a few deep breathes, beginning with a long out breath as you release the negatives.
3. Once you got that out of your system, gently close your eyes, then breathe in slowly through your nose, being mindful of the air traveling up your navel cavity, and feel your belly extend as you fill up with Calm and Faith.
4. Breathe at least 10 rounds, and if you are still up for it afterwards, give yourself a few more.
5. If able, go for a walk or a gentle scroll. Go outside if you can, but if not, take the stairs, circle the floor, or however else you can shake out any remaining tension.

At this point, your heartbeat will have slowed down and your breathing more collected. Once you are back in control of your body, your mind will experience an emerging sense of clarity. Now is a good time to reflect and remind yourself of WHY you decided to take such a courageous step to create change in your life.

That first step is HUGE, but the journey has only just begun. All the self doubts and uncertainties that made your initial decision difficult in the first place, are all still there and will pop up now and again. There will be days when everything goes smoothly and you have strong faith in yourself and the way life works out for those who dare to pursue their dreams: another investor got on board! Oh the freedom of working for self-employment! Look at how much more time for self-care now that you are single! But then there will be days when a core investor pulled out,  but also other days when your business idea will totally take off! Sometimes you feel OK being single because you know that as long as you are being true to who you are, then the right person will come along; then you look on social media at your friends with their partners, or simply see happy couple on the streets, and then you feel inadequate in your own life.

If you are tired of living in this state of emotional instability, then that’s a sure sign that you have to make a change in your life. You may say, “Oh, that’s easy for you to say.” I completely understand; a lot of things are much easier said than done. But consider this:

Fear is natural. May people find it alarming and attempt to run away from the situation of issue causing this icky feeling. But actually, from another perspective, fear tells you how tremendous and brave you would be for taking on this new endeavor. Think about it, if you are taking a huge risk or undertaking an immense challenge, then of course you feel a sense of anxiety, that’s because that tells you how much courage is required. (Note: we are talking about fear in the sense of situations listed above, not ones that involve a danger to yourself or someone else). So actually, if you are trying to change your life into the one that you’ve always hoped for, then walk towards the fear.

Sometimes we get caught up in terminology, so while fear may be a negative emotion, it can also mean excitement. Because although things may not work out, what if it does? Then the reward is huge and the growth tremendous. Therefore, have FAITH that the step you are about to take will lead you one step closer to your better self. Believe that no matter what, if you are in a place in life where you are no longer satisfied and are tired of the disappointments and depression, then you have no choice but to make a change, and often, that’s to move forward to doing something that you’ve never done before. If you believe in a higher power, then trust that if a challenge presents itself, then you are fully equipped to take it on. Have faith that this is the right step, not in the sense of right or wrong, but that it is time to embrace change. Believe that the ONLY step is moving forward, and that your life will change. You will be unstuck. You will learn about yourself.In the end, you will be OK, because if things turn out how you want them to, then congratulations! But even if not, then you’ve learned that you have to change your approach and try again.

So next time you identify Fear, ask yourself, Why do I feel stuck? What am I trying to change? What are the possible outcomes? What do I have to lose? What do I have to gain? In every outcome, what can I learn? Ultimately, what am I afraid of? And what if the worst situation happens, what can I do and to whom can I reach out to help me get off of my feet? Try to write down and journal some of the thoughts and feelings that come up as you answer these questions. Remember that there are no right or wrong answers, because only the truth will lead you towards the path that’s meant for you.

You may also consider reading some website articles or blogs written by people who have faced their fears, and yet took on the challenge anyways. Surround yourself with messages of inspiration rather than getting stuck in your own head in an endless cycle of What If’s and self doubt. Build a community for yourself that will be supportive, and be wary of critics. Most often, the people who bring you down have their own fear and even regrets for the lack of trying.

Then if you are still feeling unsure, reach out to the people around you who are able to listen and have you work through some of these thoughts and feelings. They can be close friends, family members, or co-workers. You may also consider seeking out a Coach who has the professional experience in helping others take this leap of Faith. Find out what works for you.

Life is about surfing the ups and downs. You can’t surf if there’s no wave. So makes some waves. Take a chance. Embrace the fear and have faith that when life presents you with a challenge, then you are ready just as you are in this very moment.

Best wishes!